so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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