I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize