Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
