If i come over, it means nothing
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
