At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
