OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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