it wasn't lemon gatorade
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
