Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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