I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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