it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
