Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
