my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
