We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
