There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
