How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
