i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
