Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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