She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They took my balls.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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