please come you make the beer taste better
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
