***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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