Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
