She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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