either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
