What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
