There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
