One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
