this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize