everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
