My room smells like vodka and shame
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm like, not good at living.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
