I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Randomize
