So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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