white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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