I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
