I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
