so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
