i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
