Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
