I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
