My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
