Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
