is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
