she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
