She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
