I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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