I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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