He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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