pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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