He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
how drunk are you?
Several
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
