He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize