I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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