she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is Oprah even human
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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