Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
