Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
