ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
