I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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