Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
