Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He shit in the fireplace
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize