My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
