He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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