i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize