I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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