What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it because I queefed?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize