My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
