I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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