Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize