Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
