Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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