i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
