If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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